Yesterday I went for an apt. to talk about our new game plan. We talked about how Clomid works, the side effects, ect. She said that this is where the rubber hits the road. I feel like I am finally really doing something about our situation. I hope to get an HSG in this coming cycle, plus Clomid. She said we will try 3 ovulating cycles of Clomid. If that doesn't work Clomid + IUI. If it still doesn't work, then up to Syracuse to the specialist there. I hope that Clomid does the job and we won't have to go farther than that.
I almost broke down in the office, all my paperwork had infertility on them. It's hard to accept that I am at this point. Seeing the words on my paperwork, I guess makes it more real to me. I never thought(although I don't anyone does) that I would be here. I'm 26 years old. I didn't think it would be so hard to get pregnant.
I really have been having a hard time with this. I thought I would be pregnant by Christmas. It's been hard receiving all the photo cards of all my friend's baby's pictures on them. It's a love/cry relationship with them. I like seeing their smiling beautiful faces, but cry seeing them and wonder if I'll get there.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
My one gift I want this year...
I am on day 21 and haven't ovulated yet. Last cycle I ovulated on day 25. So, I am waiting and hoping it happens again! I wish waiting was easier. The closer I get to Christmas, the sadder I get. I thought that I would be pregnant by now. It's such a stupid thought, but I wanted an ornament like this for Christmas:
Unless by some miracle, I doubt this will happen this year. There is just something about Christmas and kids. They go together. This is the gift I wanted for Christmas this year.
I am starting to get nervous. The statistics say that after 9 months, 75% of couples will conceive. I am the other 25%, have not become pregnant. I have to keep my hope that it will happen. I know it's all in God's timing. It's just hard to be patient and keep the hope. It could be this month, 2 months from now, or 4 years from now. I am hoping that it's not the later.
I just have to believe that God gave me this yearning for a reason. I have such a big yearning to be a momma. So many people tell me that my husband and I are going to be great parents. It's good to hear. Yet, it makes me mad that there are so many people who have kids and are NOT good parents. How is it fair that people who could care less about kids, get pregnant? It's so frustrating. Now, I am ranting. I better stop. Deep Breaths.... God is in Control.
Unless by some miracle, I doubt this will happen this year. There is just something about Christmas and kids. They go together. This is the gift I wanted for Christmas this year.
I am starting to get nervous. The statistics say that after 9 months, 75% of couples will conceive. I am the other 25%, have not become pregnant. I have to keep my hope that it will happen. I know it's all in God's timing. It's just hard to be patient and keep the hope. It could be this month, 2 months from now, or 4 years from now. I am hoping that it's not the later.
I just have to believe that God gave me this yearning for a reason. I have such a big yearning to be a momma. So many people tell me that my husband and I are going to be great parents. It's good to hear. Yet, it makes me mad that there are so many people who have kids and are NOT good parents. How is it fair that people who could care less about kids, get pregnant? It's so frustrating. Now, I am ranting. I better stop. Deep Breaths.... God is in Control.
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