2 months(a little late)

        Eli was two months on Friday. OMG, how did this happen? He is growing soo big. Today was his pediatrician appointment. Holy smokes, he is 13.5 lbs and 24 inches in length. He is healthy and hitting his milestones! His pediatrician handled all my first time mom questions with patience, just telling me everything was normal. His reflux is much better with zantac, he only spits up a lot if it's close to his next dose time or mommy forgot one day! :( He does have a mild flat spot on his head because he likes to sleep looking right. So, we got a few ideas for helping him sleep on his left side. The pediatrician wasn't worried about it and thought it would revert to normal when he gets older.
      He is soo amazing! He continues to amaze me everyday. His favorite toy right now is his monkey, probably because it's the only one he has most of the time. He will grab with monkey wubbanub and turn it around! He will also hit the toys hanging on his bouncer seat. He likes to be sung to. I've been singing "You are My Sunshine" and "Where is Thumbkin?" to him. He loves ceiling fans and lights. Sometimes he would rather stare at the ceiling fan or light rather than mommy. It makes me sad. He still doesn't love tummy time, but we are getting there. He can hold his head up pretty well. I think I can say(knock on wood) that he has breastfeeding down! I do have to fix his latch occasionally. He also will take a bottle, as long as its really warm.
Here are some pictures:
2 month pictures:

First Park: He loves looking up under trees.

Making bubbles:

A Special onesie: Worth the Wait: Dear friends of ours gave us this onesie right after we found out we were expecting our little miracle. They struggled a long time before having their little adorable miracle baby girl. They knew our journey and had to pass it one to us. We hope and pray we can pass it on to another couple that has struggled with infertility.

Leaps and Bounds:
* Smiles and laughs(sometimes at us, but a lot at the ceiling fan-lol)
* Coos and makes various sounds
* Raise his chest when doing tummy time.
* Sometimes still rolls over by kicking his feet
* Grasps and moves his monkey wubbanub and hair(when I have it down)
* Makes a lot of facial expressions
* Watches mommy and daddy move across the room
* Kicks himself in a circle when on tummy
* Inches himself on his activity mat when on his tummy
* Makes bubbles with mouth
* Gives first morning smiles when he wakes up

How I am doing?
   Good. I am struggling with being super emotional. I've been really freaking out about going back to work in 6 weeks. I really wanted to be a stay at home mom and am struggling that soon I have to leave him for 8 hours and work. I don't want to miss out on anything: his first steps, first crawling, ect. We tried so long for him and I don't want to just pass him on to someone else to basically raise while I work. I'm going to be a crying mess in 5 weeks! I am trying to soak up this time and enjoy it. One of the positives of being a teacher is all the holiday breaks and summer break to look forward to enjoying with him, not to mention snow days! He will be in capable hands, I know. But its going to be rough!
    Friday will be our first date leaving him with Grandma. Pray that I'll get through it! It's going to be rough, but I have to. In three weeks, we are going to a Giants game all day. This is a short trial run. I may cry leaving him, but I have to let go a little bit to get ready for work and the game. :(

6 Weeks

   I can't believe he is 6 weeks! It's going by too fast! He is 11 lbs and 8 ozs. He has gained 3 pounds since birth! No wonder my back has been killing me! 
   He has been changing by leaps and bounds! He is much more alert and awake! He also has been more fussy. Today I took him to the doctor. He had been crying and arching his back. It made this momma so sad to see him in such pain. We were pretty sure it was gas. We tried so many things, but it just got worse. He has started spitting up a lot! He was diagnosed with colic and acid reflux. He was given a prescription and I'm hoping it helps! If not, I may go dairy free for a week or two to see if that helps also. But I don't think it's dairy because I don't eat a ton and it's not a new food. But who knows, worth a try, right?
    Breastfeeding is going awesome! He will latch himself sometimes and I don't have to work to get him to latch! :) I didn't use the shield at all last night, which was awesome! I was really worried about getting breastfeeding down, but I feel like it's getting there. I can even nurse in public now without hesitation. I feel like sticking it out really was for the best. I have started a freezer stash for when I go back to work and it's already over 100 ozs and I have 2 more months at home. I only pump once a day and usually get about 5 oz, but sometimes less and sometimes more! 
   His leaps and bounds:
~ He is definitely socially smiling! :) It is adorable! He has laughed a few times!
~ He grabs at my shirt and hair when I carry or hold him. It definitely melts my heart!
~ He is more awake during the day!
~ He slept for 6 hours straight two days in a row.
~ He is cooing and trying to make conversation now!
~ He holds his head up for longer periods of time at tummy time! He also can push him self up onto his elbows!
~ He had his first bottle of breastmilk! Daddy was one proud papa!

Some pictures of him:

Grabbing onto my shirt!

6 weeks and in his Sunday best!

His first bottle! Such a big boy!

 How mama is doing?
   I'm holding up! I have more energy since he is sleeping better! I've gotten into a rhythm of getting some things done while he is napping, even taking a nap myself! I have been walking once a week with another mom! :)
      Emotionally, I've been better. Lately, I've been hurt by some comments about how I parent. It's hard being a new mom and choosing to raise your child the way you think is best. I have read a lot about the decisions I've made for Eli and I think they are the best ones. It's hard to have those decisions criticized. I don't think there is a right way to raise your child, unless it has to do with safety(like using a carseat). I know I'm not the only mom who has felt criticized. It doesn't matter if you breastfed, pumped, or formula fed. But you have to make the right decision that you have to live with for the rest of your life. For me, breastfeeding is what I felt I had to do and I enjoy it. There are so many things that you need to decide for yourself and your family. I just try to remember that I am making the best educated decisions for me. But the hurtful comments have kept me up sometimes at night when I should be sleeping. It's hard being a new mom, not even mentioning all the overwhelming advice. I'm learning that sometimes you just have to smile and accept it and move on. Deep breaths! I am learning to be a mom.
    I must be doing a good job. As Travis put it, it's been 6 weeks and he is still alive and gaining a lot of weight! :) Always the comedian.
   I am getting a little stressed about school. School starts in 4 weeks and I am not ready for the sub! I didn't realize how hard it would be to get ready for the sub with a newborn, especially with his new fussiness. I know I'll get it down in small sections. I have already started! I have a special helper in the coming weeks, Travis' cousin said she'd watch Eli while I work at school. She can come to school with me, so he can nurse while I work.
    I am enjoying my time with him. In two months, I won't see him as much because of working full-time. I'm trying to spend as much time as I can with him, taking in all the moments before work starts. I want as much time as I can before I go to work. He is a blessing and a miracle. A miracle God gave to Travis and I. He is only little once and I'm taking it all in!