6 months

     How is this possible? It seems like just yesterday, I was in the hospital having him. But at the same time, it's been a long journey. He went from not smiling and lying anywhere, to smiling and melting my heart, to rolling over, to zombie crawling, to now swim crawling. He went from such a small 8lb 8 oz. baby to probably a 20 lb baby(I'm not sure, his 6 month apt is next month).
        I can't believe how much my heart has grown and how much I love him. Everyone tells you that a mother's love is so much different than any other love and you don't know that until you have a child. I would give my life for him. My life is forever changed in a good way. There are nights when I miss sleeping through the night or days when I miss being completely lazy, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I feel so blessed. I have been crying on and off a couple of days because I am realizing how incredibly blessed I am. I love motherhood and I have found a new kind of joy. It was just 1 year and 1/2 when I thought I'd never hold a baby in my arms and here he is and learning to crawl! I hold him and cry. I hold him and praise God. I get so choked up sometimes remembering the past and looking toward my future.
    He is doing well! He isn't taking any more medicine. He doesn't spit up much. He seems to have a viral rash, but we are keeping an eye on it. Other than that, he is healthy. He is on and off teething. Some days his teeth bother him, some days they don't. He is officially eating solids. We decided to not give him cereal and it's going fine. He started with avocados. He has also had bananas and yams. I've been making my own baby food and it's so easy. I made a boatload of applesauce and yams over a snow day. Speaking of snow days, he stayed home with mom on both of her snow days and got to play with snow inside! He was kinda eh about it, but I figured it was a good sensory experience. 
     He went from zombie crawling to now swim crawling. Nothing is safe anymore, especially cords. If he sees a cord on the floor, he scoots to it and likes to try and chew on it! You can't contain him and most of the time he doesn't want to be held anymore. :( He is ready to be a mover and groover.
    Right now, I'm struggling with sleep issues. I think part of it is him learning a new skill and wanting to stay up and do it and that he is in the 6th month growth spurt. He is waking 3-4 times a night to eat the past 2 nights. He is only taking 20 minute naps twice a day and only in people's arms. Today I finally allowed him to Cry It Out for a nap because he was miserable! He slept for 35 minutes and woke up, was up for a little bit and was grumpy. He only wanted to be held and then he fell asleep in my arms. Having him CIO felt awful and made me feel horrible, but he did it and fell asleep! He is still sleeping in our room and planned on moving him to his room, but with his sleep regression, I have decided to wait.
   He had his first Thanksgiving, which right now isn't a huge deal as he couldn't eat anything. But yesterday he had his first Family Christmas party. He opened his first gift! He actually could open his presents. I don't think he really understood the concept, but loved playing with the wrapping paper!
   Also, big news: We made it six months breastfeeding! Hallelujah! I didn't think I could make it and I did! It's a huge accomplishment! I am so glad I stuck with it and I love the bonding time we have! I am going to try to make it a year!

His 6th Month Leaps and Bounds:
* He went from rolling to zombie crawling to swim crawling!
* He can sit up unassisted as long as we sit him up. But he is can almost sit up by himself!
* He is eating Avocado, Bananas, and Yams
* He is very vocal: Bababa, Dadada, ect,
* He laughs and screeches in delight!
* He loves to jump in his jumperoo!
* He will sometimes lean in and snuggle!
* He sleeps on his tummy with his butt in the air and arms tucked under him. It's adorable!
* He can sit in the shopping cart in the seat and in high chairs!
* He makes raspberry sounds!
* He plays with toys and chooses the toys he wants to play with.
* He will grab at specific toys. His favorite toy is still his Monkey Wubbanub, but he is not super attached to it. He likes his school bus too.

Here are some pictures:

First Thanksgiving

First Thanksgiving

First Solids

First Solids

First Present

First Presents

Mommy and Eli

6 Months

Six Months

Six Months

5 months!

                    I can't believe we are a month away from being 6 months old! It really went by quickly. Poor Eli has been sick though! He got his first ear infection with a nasty cough. He is on the nebulizer 4 times a day. He can scream bloody murder with it though. He hates it. Literally the only thing that helps is the Justin Timberlake "Mirrors" video. He calms down only for that video! But I think it's really helped him.
       He is doing really well. Growing big and strong. He was 18.5 lbs last time he was at the doctor's! Definitely a big boy, although he isn't super chubby, just long. He is comfortably wearing 9 months clothes and going through them quickly. He is in the 75-85% for height and weight.
             Breastfeeding continues to go well, but pumping is definitely starting to wear on me. I love nursing him. I am so glad we've almost made it my goal of 6 months. My new goal is a year! I would love to make it a year! I have almost 1,000 ozs stored in the freezer. I'm hoping that I won't have to pump much the last couple of months.
     We have done lots of research and talked to a lot of people and decided to wait until 6 months to do solids. The other thing I think is that we are going to start him on fruits and vegetables and not cereals. It's just our preference for him.
His 5th month leaps and bounds:

• roll both ways to get things
• inches himself to get things
• plays with toys and enjoys them
• sleeps on his stomach with his butt sticking up(adorable)
• grabs for toys
• Raise himself on his chest
• squeal in delight and laugh(usually at us or the dogs)
• He puts his hands together
• He pets (or grabs) for the animals and loves to watch them.
• is chewing on everything, one of his favorites are the strings from my hoodies
• Grew out of his bouncer and into his jumperoo! He loves it!
• He can sit in his highchair and watch mommy cook and bake!
• Sleeps from between 8-9 until 4 and then goes down until about 6:30-7.
• He continues to eat well. In a month we will start solids.

Here is his 5 month pictures:

So Cute! He is going to be a heartbreaker!

     So excited for what's ahead! His first Thanksgiving is tomorrow and in a month is Christmas! I love the holidays! I love the music, the tv movies, family, and food. I am so excited! Also, having a child during the Christmas season really gets to me about how Mary felt with Jesus. Last year I was pregnant for Thanksgiving and had a hard time with food because it made me nauseous. Christmas I was pregnant, like Mary. I can just picture Mary singing, cuddling, and loving on baby Jesus, just like I do with Eli. It really gives you a different perspective on Mary and her bundle of Joy, Jesus.

Halloween Pictures

Eli was really too little to enjoy Halloween this year. But we dressed him up and took him to see family and our church's trunk-n-treat. Enjoy the pictures!

4 month check-up

      Today was his 4 month check up(a little late) and he is doing great! He is 17 lbs and 5.5 ozs. and 26.5 inches long. He is sooo big. He is in about the 85th percentile for both. He is going to be a tall kid! The doctor asked all sorts of milestone questions and he is making them all! He has started rolling short distances around the living room. He is also able to sit up unassisted for a few seconds.
     We talked to the doctor about solids. She said since he is breastfed, he doesn't need solids until he is 6 months. It's only 2 months away! A new milestone not far away. He'll be able to feast at Christmas with everyone else. We are already practicing sitting in his high chair and he loves watching mom get things around in the morning in it.
     We also talked to her about how to start solids. She said to go right into rice cereal, but I am hesitant. I've read mixed information about it. Some say it's bad because of white rice, obesity, and arsenic and others say its good to start with it because it's bland and the most nonallergic food. Travis and I have to research it and decide what's right for us. I don't think it will kill him to have rice cereal, but it's definitely something we have to learn more about. If we do it, I think I want to find a brown rice that maybe organic.
        He also had shots, but took them like a champ! It helped that daddy was there to make him laugh.
             I can't believe how big he has gotten. We saw a newborn at the dr. apt and it seems soo long ago that he was that little. I looked at his newborn photos and even his face has changed so much! Here is a picture of him at the doctor's:

4 months old!

       Wednesday, little man turned 4 months old. He is amazing me everyday! He is growing so fast and is turning into a little mover. He can kick with his feet off his mat and a foot or so. He has gotten so good at it. He is now rolling from back to tummy a lot. He is doing great! He also grabs and plays with toys now. His favorite thing to do is suck on blankets and put stuff animals in his mouth. Silly boy!
    I went back to work this month and it's going. I had a really rough two weeks, thankfully my husband pitched in a lot around the house. He made dinners and cleaned up the house. It was so helpful. We are still adjusting to the new routine. I am so exhausted, between getting up early to pump, getting up 1-2 times a night, and working. But it's going!
       My babysitter is great! She takes Eli on daily walks, reads to him, and gives him soo much love! <3 She does a great job and we are lucky to have her. Eli does great with bottles now! He didn't regress at breastfeeding, much to my relief! I pump enough. The pumping is going okay. I don't like pumping at work(and would rather just feed him), but I it's something I have to do. There are some days, I pump less, but it's going well. This weekend I'm hoping to make some lactation cookies! I also have to remind myself to drink more!
    My job is going well! I had to play a lot of catch up from the beginning of the school year. There had been a lot of new things this year, especially the new teacher evaluations, which I had to learn. But it's going well. Teaching middle school English is going well and I like it so far. I am getting ready to teach "Stargirl," I'm kinda excited about it! My learning support job at the high school is going well also. I really do like teaching and working with the kids. I enjoy these age levels. You can do so much with them!
    Here are some great pictures from this past month:

First Trip to the Pumpkin Farm!

A boy and His daddy!

4 months already!

4 months and a flirt!

4 Months and EVERYTHING goes in my mouth!

First Trip to the Pumpkin Farm

Fall

 Eli's 4 Month Leaps and Bounds:
* Rolls from Back to Tummy
* Constantly sucking his fingers or hands.
* Pulls his frog on his bouncer chair to make noise and hits the others off the velcro
*Kicks himself on his back at least a foot.
*Has the bottle finally down and sometimes helps hold it.
*Shows interest in toys and holds them.
* loves to suck on blankets
* Has great head control.
* sits with assistance
* Continues to smile and babble and laugh out loud
* likes peek-a-boo
* makes raspberry noises
* loves to stand with assistance
* also loves to look out the window and watch cars
* Sleeps anywhere from 7-9 until 5-7 and has 1-2 wake-ups. We regressed a little with sleeping, but I think it's because he is learning new things. He also will sleep on his side and most recently will roll to his belly and sleep.

How am I doing? I'm doing okay. I miss him terribly sometimes at work. Right now, I worry I'm gong to miss out when he starts crawling and it bugs me. But he is doing well at the babysitter's and I'm glad it's going well. My husband and I are adjusting as it's been rough with both of us working, taking care of a baby and him taking on-line classes full-time. But we are doing it! :) I have lost so much weight, even a student from last year said that I looked a lot different. I weighed 210 when I got pregnant and I am down to 195. I wish I could say that's it's because I am being healthy, but it's not. I don't make time to work out, because honestly I am plum tired at the end of the day. I'm also not on a diet, but I attempt to eat okay. I wonder if I'm losing weight because my hormones are leveling out from PCOS because of the pregnancy. I worry I'll pack it back on, especially when I'm done breastfeeding. But I'm doing well. I hold Eli and stare at him in wonder and thank God that he chose me to be Eli's mommy. It's the hardest job to be a mom, but the best job in the world. I am so grateful that I am blessed, even with the 3 am wake-ups and spit up in my hair(this happened yesterday before work).
  Oh, I wanted to share this verse to all working moms:"She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family."  Proverbs 31:15 It helped remind me that God gave me a career to help raise and support my family, including little man. I do get up while it's still dark to get ready for school! This helped me a lot with going back to work.
  

Last Day of Maternity Leave

    Today is the last day of my maternity leave. It is a rough day. I am writing this as my little boy is sleeping. I want to enjoy every moment, because I know soon I won't get to spend my week days with him. It's a really hard day. I know that next week is going to be worse. No one tells you about the guilt you may feel. I feel guilty that I'm gong back to work. God blessed me with this incredible little man and I have to leave him for most of the day for 5/7 days. It kills me. I know I'm doing this for him. I also know many women do this every day. It shouldn't be a big deal, but to me it is. I prayed for this child. I grieved 20 months waiting for a miracle and now I'm leaving him. I feel awful. My heart is heavy and I won't lie, I'm crying as I write this. I know I will get through this and that as a teacher, I'm lucky. I get weekends(minus all the paperwork/planning/grading), holidays, and summers off. Some parents don't get that. But it's still hard.
   I've been having a rough time about leaving him. I feel like he'll forget me since he won't see me a lot. I know he won't, but it's fear since most of his waking time he'll be with an incredible babysitter. I worry about him loving me less, because I can't be a stay at home mom. Again, I know it's a ridiculous worry. I worry about missing his milestones; crawling, walking, talking, ect. I want, no I crave, to be there for that. Again, I have to remind myself that I am doing this for him. I am working to provide a house, food, ect. We couldn't make it if I was a stay at home mom, maternity leave showed us that.
   I'm going to try to make the most of today. We are having lunch with daddy. I plan on lots of snuggles and lots of hugs and kisses. I love this boy. He melts my heart with a tug on the shirt, staring into my eyes and connecting, his smiles, and snuggling into me. He melts my heart when he wants me and only settles down for me. We have a new game, the giggle game. I laugh and he laughs in response. I am taking all of these beautiful moments and storing them away for next week. Next week will be hard, but I will get through it. I WILL find a routine and it will get better. I WILL have to rely on God and his strength. As a family, we WILL get through this and grow.

3 months

    OMG.... Yesterday my little man turned 3 months. How did this happen? He is getting so big! I'm not sure how long or how much he weighs, as he hasn't been to the doctor in a few weeks. He is growing like a weed and doing amazing!
     He usually sleeps through the night 8-11 hours. If he does wake, it's only once and he will eat and go back to sleep. It's funny though. It'll feed him and he'll be wide awake. I put him down in the pack-n-play and he will babble himself to sleep. It's soo cute!
     I thought back to the beginning with breastfeeding and I am so glad I did it! I got through the rough patch. I love nursing him and watching him eat. He will put his tiny hand on me while he nurses or grabs my shirt and it melts my heart every time. I love it!
      I can't believe that my body grew him and now it sustains him, just me! God made our body to do amazing things. I thank God for the amazing gift he gives us women. I look at him and am amazed everyday. I never knew how beautiful motherhood could be, regardless of the baby puke on my clothes and the bags under my eyes. I love him so much. Being a mother is such a gift and I am blessed everyday. Just think that last year at this time we were taking our first steps to Eli. Our first appointment with the fertility clinic was Sept. 22. :) A year later, I am holding a beautiful baby boy.
Here are some pictures:

Holding up his head

   

Let the drooling begin!

 

 

 

 

   3 month Pictures:

Leaps and Bounds:
   * Drools and chews on hands.
   * Laughs and Smiles at us
   *Babbles(Love this!)
   *Reaches for toys and sometimes holds them, especially his monkey wubbanub.
   * Loves patty cake!
   *Lift his head and hold it up.
   *Holds his hands together(he does this all the time)
   * Has breastfeeding down and does okay with a bottle.
   * Had his first long babysitting day with Grandma.
   * Rolls over from tummy to back.
   * stares at his hanging toys and will bat at them to make them move.
  * Sleeps usually through the night 8-11 hours(if he does wake up, it's only once). He can also put himself to sleep in his crib without crying.

How am I doing?
    I am doing good. I got through leaving him with Grandma and now Bethany, his future babysitter. He does well with Grandma and bottles. I did well. I cried a lot over leaving him for the NY Giants game. It was so hard. I didn't want to leave him, but I really wanted to see a real live NY Giants game with my husband. I made it through. I enjoyed it! I think it really helped to be able to leave Eli, especially with school being only 1.5 weeks away. I go to work soon and I will have to leave him. It breaks my heart. I wish I didn't have to go back, but I know I'll get into the swing of things and it won't be so bad. Plus, I get summers and breaks off. Plus, SNOW DAYS!!

2 months(a little late)

        Eli was two months on Friday. OMG, how did this happen? He is growing soo big. Today was his pediatrician appointment. Holy smokes, he is 13.5 lbs and 24 inches in length. He is healthy and hitting his milestones! His pediatrician handled all my first time mom questions with patience, just telling me everything was normal. His reflux is much better with zantac, he only spits up a lot if it's close to his next dose time or mommy forgot one day! :( He does have a mild flat spot on his head because he likes to sleep looking right. So, we got a few ideas for helping him sleep on his left side. The pediatrician wasn't worried about it and thought it would revert to normal when he gets older.
      He is soo amazing! He continues to amaze me everyday. His favorite toy right now is his monkey, probably because it's the only one he has most of the time. He will grab with monkey wubbanub and turn it around! He will also hit the toys hanging on his bouncer seat. He likes to be sung to. I've been singing "You are My Sunshine" and "Where is Thumbkin?" to him. He loves ceiling fans and lights. Sometimes he would rather stare at the ceiling fan or light rather than mommy. It makes me sad. He still doesn't love tummy time, but we are getting there. He can hold his head up pretty well. I think I can say(knock on wood) that he has breastfeeding down! I do have to fix his latch occasionally. He also will take a bottle, as long as its really warm.
Here are some pictures:
2 month pictures:

First Park: He loves looking up under trees.

Making bubbles:

A Special onesie: Worth the Wait: Dear friends of ours gave us this onesie right after we found out we were expecting our little miracle. They struggled a long time before having their little adorable miracle baby girl. They knew our journey and had to pass it one to us. We hope and pray we can pass it on to another couple that has struggled with infertility.

Leaps and Bounds:
* Smiles and laughs(sometimes at us, but a lot at the ceiling fan-lol)
* Coos and makes various sounds
* Raise his chest when doing tummy time.
* Sometimes still rolls over by kicking his feet
* Grasps and moves his monkey wubbanub and hair(when I have it down)
* Makes a lot of facial expressions
* Watches mommy and daddy move across the room
* Kicks himself in a circle when on tummy
* Inches himself on his activity mat when on his tummy
* Makes bubbles with mouth
* Gives first morning smiles when he wakes up

How I am doing?
   Good. I am struggling with being super emotional. I've been really freaking out about going back to work in 6 weeks. I really wanted to be a stay at home mom and am struggling that soon I have to leave him for 8 hours and work. I don't want to miss out on anything: his first steps, first crawling, ect. We tried so long for him and I don't want to just pass him on to someone else to basically raise while I work. I'm going to be a crying mess in 5 weeks! I am trying to soak up this time and enjoy it. One of the positives of being a teacher is all the holiday breaks and summer break to look forward to enjoying with him, not to mention snow days! He will be in capable hands, I know. But its going to be rough!
    Friday will be our first date leaving him with Grandma. Pray that I'll get through it! It's going to be rough, but I have to. In three weeks, we are going to a Giants game all day. This is a short trial run. I may cry leaving him, but I have to let go a little bit to get ready for work and the game. :(

6 Weeks

   I can't believe he is 6 weeks! It's going by too fast! He is 11 lbs and 8 ozs. He has gained 3 pounds since birth! No wonder my back has been killing me! 
   He has been changing by leaps and bounds! He is much more alert and awake! He also has been more fussy. Today I took him to the doctor. He had been crying and arching his back. It made this momma so sad to see him in such pain. We were pretty sure it was gas. We tried so many things, but it just got worse. He has started spitting up a lot! He was diagnosed with colic and acid reflux. He was given a prescription and I'm hoping it helps! If not, I may go dairy free for a week or two to see if that helps also. But I don't think it's dairy because I don't eat a ton and it's not a new food. But who knows, worth a try, right?
    Breastfeeding is going awesome! He will latch himself sometimes and I don't have to work to get him to latch! :) I didn't use the shield at all last night, which was awesome! I was really worried about getting breastfeeding down, but I feel like it's getting there. I can even nurse in public now without hesitation. I feel like sticking it out really was for the best. I have started a freezer stash for when I go back to work and it's already over 100 ozs and I have 2 more months at home. I only pump once a day and usually get about 5 oz, but sometimes less and sometimes more! 
   His leaps and bounds:
~ He is definitely socially smiling! :) It is adorable! He has laughed a few times!
~ He grabs at my shirt and hair when I carry or hold him. It definitely melts my heart!
~ He is more awake during the day!
~ He slept for 6 hours straight two days in a row.
~ He is cooing and trying to make conversation now!
~ He holds his head up for longer periods of time at tummy time! He also can push him self up onto his elbows!
~ He had his first bottle of breastmilk! Daddy was one proud papa!

Some pictures of him:

Grabbing onto my shirt!

6 weeks and in his Sunday best!

His first bottle! Such a big boy!

 How mama is doing?
   I'm holding up! I have more energy since he is sleeping better! I've gotten into a rhythm of getting some things done while he is napping, even taking a nap myself! I have been walking once a week with another mom! :)
      Emotionally, I've been better. Lately, I've been hurt by some comments about how I parent. It's hard being a new mom and choosing to raise your child the way you think is best. I have read a lot about the decisions I've made for Eli and I think they are the best ones. It's hard to have those decisions criticized. I don't think there is a right way to raise your child, unless it has to do with safety(like using a carseat). I know I'm not the only mom who has felt criticized. It doesn't matter if you breastfed, pumped, or formula fed. But you have to make the right decision that you have to live with for the rest of your life. For me, breastfeeding is what I felt I had to do and I enjoy it. There are so many things that you need to decide for yourself and your family. I just try to remember that I am making the best educated decisions for me. But the hurtful comments have kept me up sometimes at night when I should be sleeping. It's hard being a new mom, not even mentioning all the overwhelming advice. I'm learning that sometimes you just have to smile and accept it and move on. Deep breaths! I am learning to be a mom.
    I must be doing a good job. As Travis put it, it's been 6 weeks and he is still alive and gaining a lot of weight! :) Always the comedian.
   I am getting a little stressed about school. School starts in 4 weeks and I am not ready for the sub! I didn't realize how hard it would be to get ready for the sub with a newborn, especially with his new fussiness. I know I'll get it down in small sections. I have already started! I have a special helper in the coming weeks, Travis' cousin said she'd watch Eli while I work at school. She can come to school with me, so he can nurse while I work.
    I am enjoying my time with him. In two months, I won't see him as much because of working full-time. I'm trying to spend as much time as I can with him, taking in all the moments before work starts. I want as much time as I can before I go to work. He is a blessing and a miracle. A miracle God gave to Travis and I. He is only little once and I'm taking it all in!
  
  

1 Month

      Elijah is officially one month today! How is it that just a month ago I was in labor and waiting for his arrival? It doesn't seem like it's been a month. But alas, it has. The saying that kids grow up fast is true. I'm sure I'll be saying that for a long time!
     Elijah is doing great. A month ago he was 8 pounds, 8 ounces. Today he was 10 lbs 1.5 ounces. He is eating well and definitely gaining weight. Travis and I were just commenting today on how much he has grown! 
    Today was his Ears, Nose, and Throat appointment for his lip-tie. He definitely has a lip-tie. The doctor explained that to clip the lip-tie, he would need to put him under anesthesia. Also, the lip when cut bleeds a lot, so there could be a complication. He doesn't believe that the lip-tie significantly affects breast-feeding, although I disagree. He slips off while feeding a lot because his lip doesn't latch well. I also think he is a little gassy because he sucks a lot of air because of a poor latch. The doctor doesn't think the benefits outweighs the risks as of now. He said that if Eli ever goes under for tubes in his ears or to get his tonsils out, that they could also do his lip-tie at the same time. Right now, he just wants to keep an eye on it. Although I'd love to get it down, I agree with the doctor that the benefits don't outweigh the risks. With breastfeeding, I guess we will just have to try to work on his latch.
    I am doing well. Breastfeeding could go better on my end. I have had a couple blocked milk ducts. One hurt really badly. I have had a few other hiccups. I am dealing with engorgement in the morning. :( Breastfeeding tends to hurt due to our latch issues. I'm glad he is getting enough to eat, but man does it hurt sometimes. Just recently, my cramping returned! :( I can't believe I'm still healing from giving birth! Good news though, depending the day, my weight is between 207-204 lbs. This is under per-pregnancy weight. Most of all, I'm adjusting to much less sleep, I went from 8 hours to 4-5 hours a night. It's been rough, especially poor Travis. I am so exhausted!

One Month Pictures:

Happy Eli

What mom, you want me to look at the camera?

Big Yawns!

1 month:
  *Eli sleep from about 9 until 1-2ish, eats, and then sleeps again from anywhere 4-6ish.
  *Eli can lift his head for 10 seconds and move it both ways.
  * He does tummy time.
  * He can look at faces and sometimes will smile.
  * He loves his bouncer and will fall sleep in it. 
  * He hates getting in the carseat, but will fall asleep in it when riding in a car.
  * He likes to listen to music. He likes to be sung to.
  * Eli will stick out his tongue, make monkey lips, and has cute old man forehead wrinkles.

3 Weeks!

  I can't believe how time has flown. How is he 3 weeks old already? I feel like time is already slipping away, especially since I only have until October to enjoy him full-time. I am irrationally sad about how time is flying. My baby boy is growing so fast!
       He had his three week appointment today. He gained 8.5 ozs, so he is currently 9 pounds 1.5 ozs and in the 50%. He also gained 1/2 inch in length and is 21.5 inches long(68%). He is active and alert and looking good. We discussed him rolling over early and the pediatrician was concerned because it's way early. She asked if he rolled over from his arms being down and stiff. I told her that he gets kicking his little feet until he catches and rolls over. She said from looking at him, he looks okay and isn't as concerned. But I need to keep an eye on it. I mentioned that I thought he had a lip-tie. They confirmed it. They even had the head pediatrician look at it, which confirmed he had a thick lip-tie on the upper lip. This maybe the issue with our latching in breastfeeding. We have an ENT apt. in a month, but I hope to get in sooner. I'm hoping that after it's snipped that our breastfeeding will get better, because his latch will be better.
Here is his three week picture: How did he get so mature looking? He looks like a handsome little boy!

Here he is all ready for Travis' softball game:

New things for Mr. Eli:
   * He can lift his head up for a few seconds and turn it both sides.
   * July 3rd- He had his first bath.
   * He is getting better at tummy time and not crying! :)
   * Is starting to stay awake for longer periods of time!
  * He will sometimes smile.
  * He is starting to look at people and their faces for a few seconds.
  * This weekend was his first softball game!
  * He is latching better, but needs to learn to keep the latch.

     I am so incredibly happy and excited about being a mom. Eli is such a good baby and really let's me sleep more than most moms. He gets up about every 3-4 hours and most times I have to wake him to eat at night. He is the most handsome little man and he gets complimented all the time. I think God just had extra time to make him so handsome!
     How am I doing? Good. I am all healed up. My weight has been fluctuating between 212-207 lbs. Last time I weighed myself, I was 207. That is 2 lbs below my pre-pregnancy weight. I fit in all my old clothes. My back has been bothering me a little bit. I am up and around and feeling pretty good. Although, last night I think my hormones were out of wack and I felt nauseous and got a bad headache.
     My biggest two things are being sooo exhausted, even though I get about 6 hours of sleep a night and I'm super emotional. I knew I'd be tired, but I didn't realize how tired I'd be. By the time Travis gets home from work and we eat, we have an hour or two before I conk out for the night. About 8:30, I'm out until Eli needs to nurse and then I go back to bed. I feel bad that I fall asleep and don't spend much time with my husband, but I just can't stay awake unless I get a nap during the day(which doesn't happened very often due to visitors, apts, or just the timing of nursing). Emotionally, I have ups and downs. I've cried over sweet things and cried over the fact that I am finally a momma. I get upset easily and get kinda jealous. Sometimes, I want Eli to myself. I explained it this way to Travis, for 10 months he was inside me, it's hard to share because I'm so use to him with me. I've also been anxious about me, Eli, and being a good mom. Being a mom is hard and it's a big adjustment. I thought I'd just slide into the role easily, but it's been rough, especially with breastfeeding issues. I worry about how breastfeeding is going, if he's getting enough, his diapers, ect. I sure do need to pray more and rely on God for things that are out of my control.

Breastfeeding is Hard

     I said in his birth story that we struggled with breastfeeding and that I would go more into detail. Breastfeeding is one of the hardest things and frustrating things. Little did I know that it would be rough. But I think it's worth it. I have a strong conviction that since I am able to do this for my baby, that I need to do it. I did a lot of research on breastfeeding and learned how beneficial it is for the baby that I believe that I need to do it.
    The first couple days were really rough. The nurses would say one thing and another nurse would say another. One said I needed to get him on a schedule of feeding every two hours, but then another said to feed on demand. I wasn't sure what to do. I tried feeding him every two hours, but between him sleeping through the feedings and people visiting. It was hard. I wasn't at a place where I wanted to nurse with people there or felt like I could kick people out of the hospital room. And Eli would NOT stay awake to feed. It was awful. I asked for help from the nurses to get him to eat, but they were super busy in the hospital as the floor was full with women giving birth and in labor. He went one night 4-5 hours without eating. Then the day of discharge, he went another long time without eating. I cried and bawled that I wasn't doing a good enough job. I really struggled. I thought that I should have this down. He needs to eat and isn't doing it.
    I came home and tried to feed him. He wouldn't latch right. I cried. I was frustrated, he was frustrated. Eventually, he did eat a couple times. Then that night he started to push away from me and cry. He would not latch. I cried some more. Finally, I called Labor and Delivery for help. We don't have a lactation consultant, but there are a few nurses that can help. One nurse, Melissa, who discharged me, told me to come in and she would help. I bawled in the room when she asked what was wrong. I explained what he was doing. She told me that we are both new at it and are learning. He wants to nurse and he is meaning to push me away, he was just frustrated. She had me pump for ten minutes and I had more than enough milk. So, that made things a lot easier, because I knew my body was producing enough for him. She showed me how to feed him from a syringe if needed. She gave me a nipple shield and showed me how to use it. She also had me call after every feeding that day to see how it was going. He latches now, but only with the shield.
         Last week, I discovered I started to crack. I went back to the nurse and she said get some triple cream and she gave me a bigger shield. She also encouraged me to try to nurse without the shield. I got my triple cream and continued to nurse with the shield. I tried every so often to nurse without the shield and it was a struggle. Then he started to suck so hard that it was definitely hurting me to use the shield. I know I need to wean him and just learn to nurse him without. I called another hospital that had a lactation consultant and she said she would see me for free! Imagine how elated I was. I went and she gave me a few pointers and answered a few questions, but really she didn't help a lot.
      I tried all last night to nurse without a shield. But to get him to latch is difficult. He never keeps his mouth wide enough to nurse and ends up with only the tip and that hurts. Mechanically his arms are flaying and his head is bobbing and it's hard to get him to latch. He can eat and get enough milk, but it's the fact that it hurts me that is the problem.
         Honestly, I am so ready to be done, but at the same time I really want this to work. I know pumping is an option for us as I have a good supply, but I really want to nurse him. I want the bonding time. It's been a really rough two weeks. I have cried so much over this but I really want to make it work. I am going to continue to try as of now.

1 Week ( A little late then never.)

    I know it's late, but better late then never. Elijah turned 1 week on Sunday. We'd had a very busy week. My sister came on Wednesday to help me around the house. It was awesome! She brought my two adorable nephews! :) She made me lunches and dinners. She cleaned up the kitchen and even washed the sheets on my bed. She was a blessing! Plus, since I wasn't suppose to carry Elijah in his car seat, she helped me take him to his appointments.
      How is little Elijah doing? Much better. We noticed he looked a little jaundice. So Friday we had to get his heal prick re-done because it was unacceptable, just meaning it wasn't done correctly. We decided to call peds and see if we could have him looked at. Unfortunately, the only appointment was at 1, so we had the re-heal prick in the morning. Then had to go out again at 1. The pediatrician we saw wasn't our pediatrician. She was impressed that a first time mom noticed it. She wanted to do blood work and then go from there. His weight was 7 lbs 15 ozs. He lost 7% of his body weight, but that's within the normal limits. She said if his jaundice was severe, we might have to use a lighted blanket, pump and make sure he was getting enough breast milk, or supplement with formula. So, we went back to the lab, across town, and he had to have another heal prick for the test! Poor boy! We waited for the results all afternoon. They finally came in at 14.7. It was an okay level for his age, but she wanted him tested again the next day. She also wanted him fed every two hours, which was hard, and given 1-2 hours in indirect sunlight(this was hard as it was cloudy and rainy).
       Saturday, Travis and I took him to get him tested again. We anxiously waited the results, 15.7. The pediatrician on-call said it was okay. Keep feeding him and giving him light. We decided to go to the mall to let my nephews run, since they'd been stuck in the house for a couple days. We went to Buffalo Wild Wings, then the mall, and Toys R Us. It was a lot for me and I found that out when I got home. Elijah slept most of the time. He used his stroller for the first time.

      Sunday, he turned a week old. He went to church for the first time. This was his outfit:

What can he do:
   He can flip from his belly to his back, left and right.
   He snorts when crying(totally adorable) and makes small whimpers.
   He is starting to get breastfeeding down.
   He had his first official pediatrician visit. We like our pediatrician. She said everything looked          good. He is a little jaundice, but she wasn't worried about it. Keep feeding him and giving him sunlight. He is 8 lbs 9 ozs(back up to birth weight). She even said at night he can go 3-4 hours without feeding! (Yay!)
   He would sleep through the night if I didn't wake him for feedings.
   He randomly smiles in his sleep.
   He knows who his mommy is and sometimes calms down for her only(melt my heart).

I feel very blessed and amazed at my little man. I thank God for him! 
"I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted what I asked of him." ~1 Samuel 1:27

Elijah's beautiful birth

    So... Elijah is 3 days old and have a few minutes to write his arrival. I had been telling everyone that the supermoon was going to bring on Elijah's birth. It was my saving grace. I was so miserable! I had to think something was going send me into labor.
     Sunday morning, I had been up from my hips hurting and finally went back to bed at 5:30. I told Travis as I got into bed, "Stupid Super moon didn't do anything!" I had been having cramping and braxton hicks all night, but that's it. He replied, "well the moon is suppose to be the closest at 7am." I felt my first two real contractions, about 15 minutes apart. During the second one at 6:30, I felt a tiny gush of water. I literally jumped out of bed in fear of getting water all over the bed. I looked at Travis sleeping peacefully and was like, "I think my water broke!" He got out of bed, which is amazing since he doesn't get out of bed early for anything. We got dressed We finished packing up our bags. Travis took the dogs out and fed them. I helped as much as I could between the contractions.
     We were on our way. We got to Labor and Delivery and they put us in a triage room. They did a swab to make sure it was my water that broke, which I never got the results for. But it was pretty evident. My contractions were about 6 minutes apart and they hurt so bad. I decided there was NO WAY I could go through this without an epidural. At 8 am, they decided to admit me. I was 5.5 cm dilated and 80%. They started me on antibiotics for Group Strep B.  Then they said that I couldn't get my epidural until i had one liter of fluid through me, so they started them as well. At 9:47, my contractions were 2 minutes apart and the fluids were almost completely done for the epidural.
        They finally came in to give me the epidural. I was very lucky that it went in real well. It hurt a little bit, but wasn't bad. I felt so much better after that! I could still feel it slightly, so they had to give me a bigger dose. It was a God send. I had such a good epidural that I could not feel my legs at all! It was the weirdest feeling. About 10 am, they checked me and I was about 6-7 cm dilated. They told me to rest for the big event.
      At some point, my Pastor came and visited me. He prayed with us. We are sooo blessed by him. I rested some more. The morning into afternoon went quickly with the epidural. At some point, my epidural didn't work on my left side well. Then I learned I could push a button for more medicine. I pushed that button every 15 minutes. I got another dose of antibiotics. They kept saying my contractions were doing well. Travis spend the day on the couch reading Game of Thrones.
       About 2pm, I was fully dilated, but couldn't feel the urge to push. They said they would give it awhile to see if I would get the urge. They told me to rest until I felt the urge. They kept checking every half an hour. At about 3pm, they decided to decrease the epidural to help me feel the urge to push. Things got painful after that! At 3:45, I told them I was ready to try to push. About 4, I started pushing! It was probably the most painful thing I had to do! I cried through them, crying that it hurt. Travis says I wasn't screaming, just crying. The doctor was paged, but he wasn't there yet. My nurse was amazing and helped me through everything. I pushed so well that at 4:30, I pushed him out. The resident doctor was the one to catch him as my doctor walked into the room!
       The placed sweet Elijah on my chest as they delivered the placenta and got me cleaned up! I got an hour or so of just holding my sweet baby! Skin to skin was amazing and it was a blessing to just hold him! After an hour, they took him and he was 8 lbs, 8 ozs and 21 inches long. Big baby! Travis and I stared at him in amazement and aww. This was our miracle. We were sooo blessed beyond words.

   

       The Labor and Delivery got busy! A lady right after me gave birth, so we were left alone for a while. I felt bad because Travis' family were waiting to come see Elijah all day, but I wanted to get up and take a shower before they came. I couldn't get up until they had 2 nurses come and help me. Since they were sooo busy, I decided to let them come even before my shower. They came in and held and awwed over Elijah. I was tired and honestly couldn't wait to just sleep! When they left, I was able to take a shower and feel human again.
      Travis was exhausted as well(for what I'm not sure) and he had to take care of our puppies. He went home and I was alone! Travis texted me when he got home and said he missed me and Elijah! Apparently, it hadn't sunk in until he got home that Elijah was really here. He said it felt like he was holding someone's baby, but now it did. He is a father!
      The first night wasn't bad except Eli didn't want to sleep! He never took a nap after his birth and was up until 11:30. Finally I asked a nurse if she could take him for a few hours so I could sleep. I woke up periodically and she never brought him. At 5, I got worried and called. Apparently, he never woke up so they left him there! I was thankful for that, as I got about 5 hours of sleep. Unfortunately, it started our struggle with breastfeeding. I'll get to that in another post.