Letting go One Step at a Time

I have been so trying to work on relationship with God the past three weeks. I had various bible verses and devotionals telling me that I need to let go.  Here is a bible verse that spoke to me:

Isaiah 43:1-5 (NIV)

Israel’s Only Savior

43 But now, this is what the Lord says—
    he who created you, Jacob,
    he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
² When you pass through the waters,
    I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
    you will not be burned;
    the flames will not set you ablaze.
³ For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,
    Cush^[a] and Seba in your stead.
⁴ Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
    and because I love you,
I will give people in exchange for you,
    nations in exchange for your life.
⁵ Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
    I will bring your children from the east
    and gather you from the west. 

This came up in my bible study. I was taken aback from the verse. God formed me and redeemed me. He is WITH me through these trials. He even states HE LOVES ME! I don't remember seeing the specific verses saying he loves us in such a point blank way. I have been pushing him away so much. I've been so angry with him, not allowing him to comfort me.
    I have come to the conclusion(which I probably already knew) that God already has control, so me giving it up to him changes nothing. It only changes how I view things.
I am going to share my prayer to him:
         God,
  I am tired of fighting you and running away. I know what your word says. Please take control of my life, I'm so tired of "trying" to be in control. This is not my life, but yours. You saved me! You made me for some purpose. I have to face the fact that your purpose for my life, might not be to have kids or maybe it's kids in a few years. My life is not my own. I want to stop fighting for control. Control I now realize, I never had in the first place! Please take control. Be with me and show me where I should go. There are so many options for my future with kids. Should I keep pursuing medical treatment? It's all confusing. If I pursue medical treatment, does that mean I don't trust you? I don't know. Show me where to go, Oh God! Help me to keep pursuing you and giving you control. I know giving you control will be a daily challenge. Help me to do it daily. Amen

    I now realize that letting go will be a daily challenge. It's not a one time deal. It's going to be a step at a time. I am really trying to believe that I can praise him if it's a no. I am taking it a step at a time.