Good News

      I have some good news to share with you. No, not that kind of news, although I wish it was! When I went to see the endocrinologist, he ordered blood work to check my testosterone levels. I got them in the mail Saturday.

Testosterone Total
My levels in 2011: 59
My Levels in 2012: 27
Normal Limits: 2-45

Testosterone Free
My levels in 2011: 8.0
My levels in 2012: 4.3
Normal Limits: 0.1-6.4

     Wow! I believe the Metformin worked! My testosterone is now normal! Yay!

    I have other good news! I ovulated and ovulated "early" in my book! I ovulated day 18! They only other time I ovulated that early is with Clomid and the HCG shot! I am super happy about this. I now feel like I have a better chance of getting pregnant.
     This cycle I did great with the tempting and Ovulation Prediction Kits! I think we timed it well. Time will only tell. I hate the waiting game. I always am "the glass shattered on the floor" type of girl, not half full or half empty. This insight was courtesy of my husband. I see the maybe symptoms of being pregnant and tend to quickly dismiss it. I tell myself it didn't work before I find out. Of course my husband is the complete opposite. He thinks I am until I get the negative test. I am trying to be more opportunistic this cycle b/c everything seemed to align well, which only happened one other cycle really.
    In the past, due to the craziest of my cycles, we seemed to miss our windows. I ovulated anywhere between days 18-37. It was hard to know when to time things. I hope that this cycle will be the first of other good cycles. My husband kind of concluded that past cycles didn't count because of the annovulatory cycles. So, my fingers are crossed.
  Last July I weighed 239 lbs. Currently, I weigh 209 lbs. I am hoping to get under 200 lbs this summer! I need to get my butt into gear though. I need to get the energy to work out and the willfulness to eat better! I think my weight loss also contributed to my body regulating.

   Emotionally, I feel like I have my ups and downs. Some moments, I am okay. I have been babysitting a lot lately. Although it sometimes hurts to think why God hasn't chosen me to be a mommy yet, other times it feels my with complete joy to hold and cuddle a baby. To be there for a child fills me with happiness. Last night we had our nieces and I looked at our toy laden floor and the TV with a family movie. I watched my nieces laugh and giggle. I stopped and looked at my husband and said "I want this sooo bad." I want a family! I admit, I cried a bit. I have concluded about how much I help out other families. At softball games, I play with other people's kids as they catch up with friends. I watch out when a mother of two is tending to her other child. I wouldn't be able to do that if I had my own child. I enjoy it. I do get sad afterwards when I wonder when I will be able to have a child running around with other children. But I enjoy that I can help and that I can love on other kids. I am glad that at this point of my journey, infertility hasn't taken away my ability to love on other kids.