Isaiah 40:31

          Isaiah 40: 31: "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary,    they will walk and not be faint."

     I think God is changing my heart at the moment. I feel peace at the moment about things. I am singing praise songs to God without crying or getting upset. I feel renewed and can see hope in the distance. I have opened up and listening to sermons. Today's sermon was on faith for the future. This is what I needed to hear this morning. The preacher had 5 faithisms. The third faithism said Faith dreams of tomorrow when the world says live for today! I am dreaming of tomorrow. I need to stop worrying about infertility. Worrying means that we don't believe that God will provide. God gave me a mother's heart for a reason and I know his promise will be fulfilled. It may not be a biological child, but it will still be a child! I need to invest in his plan and not mine. He has a plan for my life. I want to give it to him daily.
    The fifth one hit a chord as well, Faith thanks God in advance for what God is going to do. I need to thank God for what he has given me now. He has given me a wonderful husband, job, and home. He has blessed me with four crazy pets that make me laugh! I need to thank him for his plan that he has for me. He has a plan and I need to follow him toward that plan.
    God has renewed my hope. He is helping me through this time. I have started to pray, read the word, and do a devotion. I haven't been able to do this for awhile. I feel a purpose besides being a mother. I have recently starting taking up leadership roles in the church again. He is working in me.
     I know that I will still have days when I get jealous or sad. I will have days when Facebook hits me with another announcement or a baby filled statuses and I will cry. I will ask why. But I think I am allowed to have cry fests. God created tear ducts for a reason other than cleaning the eye. It's therapeutic and soothing. After I cry, I will try to remember that God has a plan for me and it's bigger than I can see!  
    Friday is my appointment with the Fertility Clinic and a reproductive endocrinologist. I hope it goes well and we come out with a plan! :) I will update you when I have time!