Anxiously Cribbing

      I wanted to write this post last week, but it didn't happen. Life is chaotic and time is short. I really struggled with moving Eli to his room in his own crib. He started his journey in me, grew in my belly, and always slept next to me. He had always been next to me at night. We started saying at 6 months that we were going to move him to his crib. Well it was around Christmas... He was teething... We had a lot of excuses. Then, we were ready to move him and I broke my elbow.  I couldn't physically pick him up, so again, he stayed with us in our room. My elbow finally healed, and we were ready to move him. Yet again, we decided to wait until we got a heater for his room, because it got super cold in there.
     Last weekend when he was 8 months, we finally got a heater! Saturday night, anxiously, I left him to slumber in his crib. I worried all night. Worried stupidly. I had some really outrageous thoughts run through my little skull. Don't laugh... I worried about the tree outside his window falling on his room, I worried about someone breaking into his room and kidnapping him like JonBenet Ramsey(Travis pointed out that someone would have been having to watch our house, waiting patiently for the night we switched him into his own room). I worried that he would wake up and freak out that I wasn't there. I worried that he would stop breathing and I wouldn't be there to hear him and wake him up. I worried that he would cry and I wouldn't hear him. I told you that they were outrageous.
      It was so much harder for me then him. He stirred at 12 and I could hear him over the monitor. I woke up, grabbed on my sweatshirt and was ready to swoop in and take care of him. But I waited and he settled back down. About 12:30, he finally was awake. I went and nursed him excited to just be near him! He fell back to sleep and woke up as I got up from my rocker. He looked around wildly with a look of confusion. He struggled against letting the sleepiness overtake him once again. He woke up two more times, before he finally went back to sleep. Meanwhile, I did not sleep well that night. Every time he stirred, I was wide awake. It was a rough night for me. I wasn't ready for him to sleep independently from me. The best part was in the morning when I opened the door and he got excited to see mama. He raised his arms with pleading arms. I was needed once more.
    He is still doing awesome! He only wakes up once, if that. After that first night, he hasn't blinked an eye at his new bed. I still haven't adjusted. I wake at the slightest sound. It doesn't help that the monitor we have randomly turns red and beeps throughout the night. It also picks up when his heater turns on. I know I'll adjust and be able to sleep without anxiety and worry.
    I have to trust that God will watch over him.
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. " Philippians 4:4-7

Little Man survived his first night!