The Last Nursing Session

    My little Eli took another step toward becoming a little boy. It's so bittersweet. We started the weaning process, but I planned on doing it slowly. About 2 weeks ago, I stopped the night nursing and the first few nights he cried and asked. It made me sad. :( Then like a light flipped, he stopped asking in the morning. I was ready to cry. It is so bittersweet.
     I wish I knew it was the last time. I was probably on my phone catching up on FB instead of relishing the last bit of baby time. I would have savored that moment in time if I had known. But he is done and I'm glad that he isn't throwing a fit and crying over it. But I miss that cuddle time. It was the last thing that only I could give him. It was our bonding time. I will miss it. I already do. We would cuddle and he would point out parts of his face. I'd say ears, and he would tug on his ears. I'd ask him where his nose was and he'd point his out and then mine. It was special moments. I'd also sing rhythms or lullabies to him. He'd stop nursing just to say/sign "more." I know that I can still have these moments without the nursing, but it's just things I will hold in my heart.
   I feel guilty, but I am looking forward to being able to sleep in. I woke up early because he always wanted to nurse in the morning, so I'd have to wake up anyway to nurse. Now, I can sleep in, at least once in a while.
    I am thankful for the 18 months that I was able to provide for him. I am so thankful that I stuck with it. I really couldn't have done it without the help of my helpful and patient sister, a kind nurse from Labor and Delivery, a lactation consultant, and a group of amazing internet friends! I feel accomplished that even though there were moments I didn't think I could make it, I did, and I helped him grow strong and healthy. I will miss those bonding and fleeting moments.
    I know that there will be many new moments that will capture my heart and melt it. I am looking forward to them with happiness and sadness. Sadness that he is growing up so fast, but happiness that he is growing and getting smarter/bigger. I am thankful everyday for my miracle baby. He makes me laugh and smile everyday with his antics. I thank God for him. I am abundantly blessed with our little family. I may not be rich with money, but I am rich in love. <3

Psalm 127:3 ^"Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him."